


Princess Lessons

by Anonymous



Category: Go! プリンセスプリキュア | Go! Princess Pretty Cure, Long Live the Queen (Video Game), プリキュア | PreCure | Pretty Cure Series
Genre: Crack Crossover, Crossover, Dark Comedy, Gen, Minor Character Death, long live the spreadsheets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-03-25
Packaged: 2018-03-19 12:01:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3609363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Haruno Haruka discovers Long Live the Queen, and takes its lessons to heart as truth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Princess Lessons

**Author's Note:**

> Greetings! [Nostalgic Stars](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2279457/chapters/5009217)’ writer here. No, seriously, I'm still working on that fic. It's just that I was gifted Long Live the Queen as part of the Valentines' Humble Bundle and since then I've been playing it alongside the first few episodes of Go! Princess Precure... and then this happened. 
> 
> For those of you not familiar with LLtQ's nature but are going to read this anyway, I think [this](http://funnysteamreviews.tumblr.com/post/107800744717/theblackoaksyndicate-daggerpen) should be a sufficient introduction.

Haruka fiddled with her Cure Flora dress-up key, looking up at it as she held it over her face.  
  
She was relaxing now after a long afternoon of princess lessons under Miss Shamour’s tutelage. Or trying to, anyway. She felt ill at ease remembering all the apparently basic tasks she couldn’t perform to her teacher’s satisfaction, such as pouring tea, decantering from a sufficient height to ensure proper tea infusion, and walking in a straight line with a book perfectly balanced on her head.   
  
Here in her hand was the proof that she was a princess, but she was also a failure at it.  
  
_(Current mood: Depressed)_  
  
She sighed and continued to lie on her bunk bed, looking up at the ceiling. She tried to recall the words of Prince Kanata, the mysterious figure from her memories whose smiling face always made her feel hope as well. But he was far away right now, and he could not help her.  
  
No, she would have to become a better princess on her own.  
  
But then... she wasn’t alone, was she?  
  
She tucked away her key and rolled over onto her side and looked down. Yui, her roommate, was on the desktop computer, doing research for a project. Haruka briefly considered asking her for research help, but decided that it was better for Yui to not know about her somewhat embarrassing goal.  
  
_(Test: Expression = > Failed)_  
  
Instead, she would take some matters into her own hands.  
  
“Hey, Yui-chan? Can you pass me my tablet?”  
  
“Sure, hold on,” her friend said, making a few last keystrokes and then turning to grab Haruka’s tablet computer and hold it up to her. “How is your club doing, anyway?”  
  
“My club?” Haruka asked as she grabbed her tablet.  
  
“Yes. You’ve been busy after classes with Kirara-san and Minami-san. Actually, just today I walked past the second student council room and saw you pouring tea.”  
  
_(Test: Composure = > Failed)_  
  
The redhead blushed; she couldn’t see it, but her freckles turned red as well.  
  
“I-I was-- they’re going good!” Haruka stammered. “Though I think I kind of botched the tea ceremony today...”  
  
Yui smiled up at her. “I’m sure you’re doing well, Haruka-chan. You’re the sort of person who gives it your all when you learn things, I know it.”  
  
Haruka blushed again, but she was smiling this time.  _(+1 Cheerful, -1 Lonely)_  
  
“Thanks, Yui-chan. Now I have to do some research.”  
  
“Are you also working on the project for Japanese literature class? Really glad I don’t have to take that this semester, everyone else seems to be so stressed out about it.”  
  
“Yeah,” Haruka agreed absentmindedly. “Gonna work on that now.”  
  
Yui nodded and left her to her work. Haruka sat cross-legged on her bed while she set up her tablet and browsed for what she was looking for online.  
  
Well, there had to be something online for someone who wanted to be a princess. A practical guide of some sort that would give her tips on all the skills she needed to be a good princess. The internet had everything, didn’t it? It would surely have something like this.  
  
A recurring result in the searches caught her eye. It was a young girl in.... what appeared to be some kind of magical girl outfit. She blinked. Was this, in fact, what she was looking for?  
  
Apparently it was some sort of game, recently translated to Japanese as well. It looked interesting enough, but she couldn’t read enough English to read the reviews. Apparently they were all very excited about the game, though.  
  
_(Test: Foreign Intelligence = > Failed)_  
  
_(Test: Divination = > Failed)_  
  
Well, it couldn’t hurt to try. At the very least, a game would help her relax. Apparently the game was on sale, too, which was very lucky for her, so she bought it off a bundle pack and began to play it twenty minutes later.  
  
Two hours later, it was time for lights-out, and it came as a surprise to Haruka when Yui turned out the lights.  
  
“Oh! I didn’t even notice,” Haruka exclaimed.  
  
“Sorry, I didn’t realize you were so absorbed,” Yui replied. “Well, anyway, good night, Haruka-chan. Try not to stay up too late, okay?”  
  
“Right,” the redhead nodded, and turned her tablet so the light wouldn’t shine too far.  
  
She wanted to stay up all night exploring this rich well of information, honestly, but there were just too many variables. She needed to investigate all her options. She needed to examine this thoroughly and learn everything about.  
  
But above all...   
  
She needed  _spreadsheets_.  
  
\-----  
  
_Day 01_  
  
Minami and Kirara saw each other as they were walking in the hallways, and Kirara immediately made a beeline for the blue-haired class president.  
  
“Kirara-chan, about Haruka-san, did you hear anythin--“  
  
“So what’s going on with Haruharu?”   
  
Minami didn’t even continue with her sentence. “So she did something else?”  
  
“You asked first,” Kirara replied.   
  
Minami frowned. “In mathematics today, she demanded that we dedicate the entire class period to spreadsheet making and how to chart how different variables all intersect with each other over a projected period of time.”  
  
The brunette blinked. “That’s way weirder than what I saw.”  
  
“Why, what happened?”  
  
“She just asked the coach if she could spend the entire week practicing how to climb up and down a ladder.”  
  
Minami paused.  
  
“A ladder?”  
  
“Yep.”  
  
The blue-haired girl furrowed her brows. “But that’s a useless skill.”  
  
“She didn’t seem to think so,” Kirara shrugged.  
  
Minami was about to say something, then paused.   
  
“A completely ordinary ladder?”  
  
“Yep,” Kirara deadpanned.  
  
Minami got an awkward frown on her face, but then shook her head. “Anyway. Do you think we should intervene?”  
  
“I’m not sure. She’s being a bit weird, but harmless so far. Maybe she’s just having an off day. Those are the worst.”  
  
Minami nodded.  “Perhaps I will speak to her roommate. Maybe she will have some insight into what has happened.”  
  
Kirara nodded back. “Right on. I’ll see you tomorrow, then, I’ve got work booked solid this afternoon.”  
  
“All right, take care.” The class president waved goodbye as Kirara continued on her way. After a moment of thought, Minami turned to walk to her next class, still thinking.  
  
So far it was as Kirara-san said; Haruka-san was being weird but harmless. She wasn’t sure she was good enough friends just yet to ask her directly about it, though. Still, she was somewhat concerned, but she also just didn’t share very many classes with her to get the chance to talk to her.  
  
Well, Miss Shamour’s princess lessons were coming up this weekend, so she would get the chance then.  
  
\------  
  
_Day 04_  
  
By this point, Minami had a list.

  * Weird fixation on spreadsheets in mathematics class
  * Has asked to replace her physical education training with ladder-climbing (update: she is avidly pro-swimming, reflex training, and running now)
  * Her roommate, Nanase Yui, says she began to study something two nights ago and now stays up late every night reading something on her tablet.
  * During study hall periods, appears to be working on something on her tablet. Perhaps it’s the same thing Nanase was speaking of? Merits further investigation.
  * Asked the janitor which way to the dungeons
  * Asked if there was an “expression” class
  * Asked if there was a falconry club
  * Reportedly (unconfirmable at the moment) approached the activities committee and asked when Noble Academy would have its jousting tournament; when told that we had none, asked if such a tournament could be arranged.
  * When Kirara offered her a box of chocolates yesterday as a gift, Haruka excused herself and never returned.



Now she was waiting in the classroom with Miss Shamour, Puff, Aroma, and Kirara-san, waiting to talk to Haruka-san about this when she came in.  
  
All of a sudden, the door slammed open and an intense-eyed Haruka was on the scene.  
  
“Shamour-san,” she said after a moment, making the cat fairy jump. “Teach me...”  
  
“Yes?” Shamour asked in turn, her voice nervous.  
  
“How to flatter people, as a princess.”  
  
“T-that is not part of our princess studies curriculum!” Shamour objected.  
  
Haruka fixed her with an almost steely gaze.  
  
“I already am a princess. It’s time to aim for... higher.”  
  
Kirara and Minami looked at each other, eyes widening with worry.  
  
“W-well, I can teach you court manners, i-if that would--“  
  
Haruka-san seemed actually quite happy with this, much to Minami’s surprise. “Court manners are also crucial, in fact! Thank you.” She opened up her backpack and pulled out a binder of spreadsheets, flipped to a page and marked something off on it.  
  
Kirara and Minami caught each other’s gaze again.   
  
Haruka tapped her pen against the notebook. “Actually, Shamour-san, I’d like to speak to you about the curriculum, and other classes you may be able to provide. What do you say to public speaking as well?”  
  
“Public speaking is all right, but flattery is just... passé,” Shamour shook her head.  
  
“Hmm, I don’t want flattery to be my dump stat, but the other two in the category should lift my experience rate gain anyway.” Haruka muttered, apparently not caring if anyone else could hear. “And in addition to our decoration training, such as tea ceremony and dressing well, would you be okay with teaching me instrumentation and voice training?”  
  
“Oui!” Shamour-san replied, seeming happy that Haruka was asking for things she could actually teach.  
  
“Learning about elegance, presence, and composure would also be helpful,” Haruka said, looking up from her spreadsheets.  
  
“Yes, those are all important for a princess like you!” Shamour said.  
  
Haruka shook her head. “I don’t wish to be a princess anymore. What I want to study for...” Her voice dropped, and the steel in her eyes shone. “... is to be a  _queen_.”  
  
Minami and Kirara looked at each other again.   
  
Meanwhile, Haruka seemed oblivious to their reaction as she returned her gaze to her spreadsheets.  
  
“So, Shamour-san, what can you tell me about foreign intelligence or battlefield medicine?”  
  
\-----  
  
_Week 25_  
  
In the field of flowers and glowing embers, a man stumbled through the smoke, choking as he went.  
  
“Is this poison?!” he shouted, his spiky black hair faintly smoking, panting for breath as he paused for a moment.  
  
A low chuckle came from... somewhere. He couldn’t pin it down. He couldn’t see her through the smoke. “No, and it’s not a half bad idea. But it’s too indiscriminate to put a poison in pollen. Much better to make it, say, a box of treats that you can’t resist.”  
  
“What are you--“ he began to reply just as the ground exploded at his feet.  
  
“Uh-uh,” she said, “Keep moving, Close. I never gave you permission to stop.”  
  
His every muscle cried out for rest, but then he remembered what she had done to the sea monster Zetsuborg he had summoned, and the overwhelming fear pushed him forward.  
  
“Where are you?!” Close screamed, fear turning to anger. “Come out and face me! Fight me one on one!”  
  
Billowing waves of black smoke appeared in front of him, and he reeled back.  
  
“A proper princess doesn’t get her own hands dirty, silly.”  
  
“Y-you’re not a princess!” Close shouted before choking on some smoke and coughing. “Y-you’re a demon!”  
  
“Hmmmm.... I suppose you might be on to something.”  
  
An explosion at his feet pushed him into the cloud of black smoke, and he wheezed as he ran through it, hoping that on the other side he could be safe.  
  
“The demon princess of flowers... I like it.”  
  
There was a gust of wind, and Close saw grey smoke open up to show a dark silhouette in a ballgown with long hair, a bird on her left shoulder and a sword in her right hand.  
  
“And anyway, I’m not a proper princess,” she said, and swung her left arm, throwing something at Close’s feet. A black bag...  
  
“It used to be Lock’s,” Flora said, the flames of the burning flower field reflected in her eyes. “Lock didn’t learn to stay out of my way.”  
  
Close shuddered, recoiling from the bag.  
  
“Convey this message to Dyspear,” she said, pointing her sword at the musketeer. “The princess is dead. Long live the queen!”  
  
Flora’s laughter echoed for miles around.  
  
From a distance, Mermaid and Twinkle looked down through opera glasses at the destruction their friend had caused.  
  
“Man,” Twinkle remarked. “I don’t even know where to start with her.”  
  
“We have to do something,” Mermaid said. “I don’t know what, but... something.”  
  
“We can’t even get close to her without her pulling out that rock she calls a ‘Lumen Crystal’ or whatever and trying to zap us,” Twinkle replied, shaking her head. “We need to go deeper, to the person she was before that game took her away from us.”  
  
“Assuming her heart hasn’t lost its nobility,” a third voice said, this time a man’s voice.  
  
“Indeed,” Mermaid said, turning around. “She should still be able to hear the sound...”  
  
Twinkle stepped into the back seat of the red convertible as Mermaid held the door open for her. “Thanks, Minamin.”  
  
Mermaid slid in next to her and sat down. “This car is actually quite comfortable.”  
  
“Indeed. I’m glad Puff and Aroma obtained it for me,” Prince Kanata said as he revved the engine. “Shall we go and try to find an answer?”  
  
“Let’s,” Twinkle said, putting a playful arm around Mermaid’s shoulders. “We won’t let things end this way. We’ll find something to make Haruharu’s star rise again!”  
  
And with that, they sped off.   


* * *

  
**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> Couldn't resist getting my Utena on at the end, sorry.
> 
> As for the people who like seeing Haruharu with freckles: You know who you are. I got your back.
> 
> Edit: Oh my god, the creator of LLtQ noticed this fic [and tweeted about it](https://twitter.com/HanakoGames/status/580543412182654977)?! Oh gosh, I’m so happy I managed to catch your eye and amuse you! Thanks!


End file.
